New York is something you have to experience. The greatest storytellers in the world have tried to convey the lifestyle through film and music, art and literature. But there is nothing like the experience. What I’m writing right now doesn’t do the city justice. You have to be here.
You have to see the habitat and culture that changes with every five blocks that you walk. You have to hear the ephemeral screaming of a subway as it approaches the station like it yearns for freedom; the same scream that everyone here who’s struggling hears in their own mind. You have to smell the decay of every forgotten homeless person whose stories will never be told. You have to taste the oxygen that people of every culture, every background shares.
But the one thing you don’t have to do is feel. Because you don’t feel the city, the city feels you. It grabs you by the shirt and reaches through your chest, deep into your heart. The city knows when you are happy; the city knows when you are depressed. And it lashes out in either direction. I’ve had nights and days here where I’ve captivated by the uniqueness of this forest made of concrete and steel beams. And I’ve had nights and days wondering how I managed to be lonely in a city of nine million. But my experiences are shallow compared to so many others.
It’s amazing that the most urban place in the country still emulates nature. The sunlight pierces through the areas between giant buildings like a valley between mountains. The subway is like a human circulatory system, pumping life into each crevice of the city. The social structure has its own food chain. New York is its own ecosystem that has diversity that rivals a rainforest. It is an urban Amazon.
Everyone who loves this city can find a reason to hate it. But New York is a city of survivors. It is not for quitters. It is a place for those who find a way to get back up after being knocked down. And this city will knock you down a lot.
I am a lucky person. Living for this short period of time in these 305 square miles of land has reaffirmed that. I was put in a great situation, and surrounded by great people. I’ll leave New York knowing that I haven’t even scraped the surface, and that I’ve only scathed a small portion of everyone that I’ve met. But I know that the city has made me stronger, it has made me wiser, it has made me better.
Goodbye New York, thank you for everything. I’ll inevitably see you again. I was unprepared when I first encountered you, but you had better be prepared the next time you encounter me.
